Search Engine De-Optimization - How To Get Your Site Blacklisted!

These days, search engine optimization is all the rage. What's worse, everybody and their grandmother claims to be an expert in the latest and greatest search engine optimization strategies. Inevitably, hundreds of foolish companies place their trust in SEO specialists that are anything but special.

For those of you who aren't familiar with the concept: Search engine optimization involves a variety of measures that can be taken in order to improve your web site's ranking in the search results of popular engines like Google and Yahoo. It's not black magic, sorcery, or voodoo — it's simply understanding how search engines "see" your website, and then adjusting your content to improve your rankings.

Most knowledgeable experts agree that the two most important elements of a successful SEO campaign are:

• Appropriately optimized, keyword-rich content


• A network of valuable web sites that link to your pages

Seems pretty simple, right? In fact, it is so misleadingly simple that it causes hoards of unqualified webmasters to spearhead their own optimization campaigns. These "campaigns" consist of jam-packing existing content with a top-performing keyword in every other sentence. Next, they exchange links with hundreds of other (unrelated) websites via link exchange networks … and then they wonder why their site ranking falls to the four billionth page of Google's results.

The terrifying truth is that Google will PENALIZE your web site if they discover that you are using aggressive or misleading SEO tactics to improve your rankings. And believe me, Google knows all.

So, what are some of the ways you can guarantee your site will get penalized, punished, and pounded down to the last page of every major engine in no time?

1. Make sure the density of your top-performing keywords is no less than 98%. Search engines hate unique, relevant, and valuable content. Furthermore, they are based on primitive technology that is easily misled by six consecutive pages of common keywords in 72-point blinking magenta fonts.

2. Whatever you do, do not allow ANY sites to link back to yours! Get a lawyer to sue these people if you must. This is especially true for web sites that are related to your niche, or sites that link to you using high-quality keywords in their link texts. When people link back to you, this may confuse Google into categorizing your site as a popular, valuable resource of quality information. God forbid.

3. Put irrelevant information in your title tags, or better yet, leave them out altogether. Title tags are one of the main elements that search engines will consider when trying to figure out what your page is all about. Only a dimwit would make use of these title tags by infusing them with appropriate keywords and accurate descriptions. If you are still dead set on using title tags, make sure you make numerous references to "goat herding" and "lime juice." (Note: if your website is about goat herding or lime juice, skip this section.)

4. Steal content from other websites or remove useful content entirely. C'mon people, this is the internet, and we all know, the internet is no place to share unique and helpful information across a vast network of computers. If you absolutely must give visitors a reason to stay at your site, steal the content from someone else. Search engines are virtually incapable of detecting duplicate content and rarely penalize web sites that plagiarize. In fact, most of these webmasters are routinely rewarded with platters of fresh-baked oatmeal cookies.

5. Make sure you link to irrelevant websites with poor reputations. Before starting your optimization campaign, collect a list of the most irrelevant, horrid material the internet has to offer. Then litter your web site with links to these pages. Showing strong affiliation with less-than-reputable sites is admirable in the eyes of any search engine spider.

If you haven't sensed my e-sarcasm yet, god help you.

The truth is, all of these things are obviously very bad ideas. The more important truth is that Google can penalize you for a lot less than this.

That's why it's very important that you make sure you understand the "tried and true" tactics for search engine optimization before trying to optimize your own content. Better yet, let someone who deals with SEO every day manage your content development … unless you're not a fan of quick, easy, and reliable methods for success. In that case, be my guest and follow this guide religiously.